Fashion DON'Ts #1 - The Croc Boat Shoe

The occasions where I get utterly appalled by someone's fashion style or choices are not that many and not because there is a shortage of fashion blunders out there, but because most of the times the ones making them are either not very in tune with style or have yet to realize the error of their ways. 

In the case of what I am about to show you, there is absolutely no excuse. If you are like myself and think Crocs are the bane of the modern world, seeing the Croc Boat-Shoe might be short of the four horsemen of the apocalypse knocking at your door.I am beyond baffled as to what possessed the people designing Crocs to combine a staple of elegance and preppiness, the boat-shoe with its antagonist, the Croc!

If you have an answer to my question or would like to share in my sorrow, please comment below!

Surfeit Sputum

How many times has it happened that as you were enjoying a beautiful day someone just spat right in front of you?!

Sadly, this disgusting habit has been increasing, especially among children and adolescents. The lack of any specific rules or laws specifically prohibiting this in the United States and other less civilized parts of the world is party to blame, however the rest comes from a lack of proper education and sense of hygiene. 

Many viral diseases such as the Common Cold or Tuberculosis are transmissible through saliva and mucus, so why should we be exposed to your bodily fluids. Imagine for a second people would start urinating on the streets on a regular basis. Even though urine is very much sterile I believe the popular outcry would not take too long to generate a ban on this act.

So if you find yourself among this category of misbehaving spitters please STOP now! There is absolutely no medical or social reason that would require such an abhorrent act to be permitted. Saliva has an important biological role so spitting it out only worsens your bad breath and dehydrates your mouth and esophagus.

If you are sick and feel the need to eliminate mucus please buy some tissues!

If you are a smoker and dislike the aftertaste, stop smoking or wash your mouth with a strong mouthwash every time you feel the need to spit. 

If you have halitosis or constant bad breath, buy some gum (also a no-no when it comes to spitting) or some dissolving fresh breath strips.

If you just do it for fun, there is no hope for you besides self-education and restraint. Remember the street is a public space and therefore is owned by everyone. How would you feel if I came into your house and spat all over your carpet?!

Madly Modish Madras

There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-coloured ass;
But the length of its ears,
So promoted his fears,
That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

As the limerick hints at, wearing madras can easily become that cream-coloured ass that brings your outfit, and you with it, down to the ground. Madras is quite varied, madras is quite moody and madras is definitely not for the weak-hearted. Since each spring and summer season brings a resurgence in Madras clothing and accessories, I've decided to take a look at this unique fabric that is very dear to me.

Subdued colours, attention is drawn to the tie and jacket. Definite Madras Do!

As Wikipedia puts it, madras is a lightweight cotton fabric with typically patterned texture and plaid design, used primarily for summer clothing—pants, shorts, dresses and jackets. Madras is constructed in a 60/40 manner threadwise, which has been determined to be the perfect ratio for optimal lightness, strength and breath-ability.

The fabric takes its name from the former English name of the city of Chennai, India. This cloth also was identified by the colloquial name, "Madrasi checks." One style that was popular during the 1960s was called bleeding Madras because it used dyes that were not colorfast in a typically plaid design, resulting in bleeding and fading colors that yielded a new look to the fabric each time it was laundered.



Because of its almost garish nature, wearing Madras must be done in a very reserved fashion. While some exceptions are accepted for the most Preppy of people IN Preppy circumstances (e.g. preppy weddings, country clubs etc), this is not generally valid for most of us. Also, recently, there has been a surge of madras imitation materials that are borderline plaid and come in the most horrendous of colour combinations. I will try to show you what I personally consider Madras Dos and Don'ts.

MADRAS DOs

Classy Madras - never in the center of attention!

MADRAS DON'Ts

Clashing accesories, Madras on Madras, Matching Outfits (I can even attest to having bought the lower left corner outfit, which I have only worn together once, much to my chagrin) and even Madras raincoats from Band of Outsiders

Remember:
- moderate colours
- match one of the dominant colours of the madras with the rest of your outfit
- keep it simple
- never multi-layer with madras, too clashy

The Preppy Handbook dedicates an entire page to Madras (you can find the entire book here) so be sure to check it out. What I would like you good folks to take out of it is a little tip about caring for Madras: wash your Madras in salt water for the first few times to help set the dyes.

Keep it classy, as two lovely Duke girls like to say!

Wearing Your Shades In The Shade

Depending on where you live, sunglasses might or might not be within your possession at all times around the year. But regardless of that, we are all subjected to having to take the sunglasses off at one point or another. The question however is, what to do with said sunglasses at that moment in time?!

Tom Ford I love you!

We can start with what NOT to do!

1. Wearing your sunglasses on your head or on the back of your head

Sunglasses are definitely not a hair accessory boys and girls and therefore should not serve as an improvised headband. Therefore I vote NO to sunglasses on your head.

Wearing them on the back of your head can only have one outcome and that is making you look like a tool. Not only does it not look appealing but in the event your glasses were to slip off the back of your head, how will you ever catch them, eh?!

2. Wearing your sunglasses indoors and at night

Before deciding if this applies to you, please follow this very simple flowchart:

Thankfully, for most of us the answer is NO NO NO. Not only is it tacky but it's quite unsafe especially in darker rooms and at night. 

3. Wearing sunglasses around your neck

Unless you are too old to remember where you left your glasses, there is no excuse for needing your glasses to hang around your neck all day.

No Croakies....EVER!

In the land of TO DO however, the choices are less flexible.

1. Hanging your sunglasses on the neck of your t-shirt/blouse

Though not the most stylish way to don your sunglasses in times of shade, hanging it on your top garment is a much better option than any of the NOT to do ones. Just don't forget to hold your glasses when bending !

2. Putting your glasses in your front pocket

By far the best and most stylish way to sport sunglasses other than on your eyes is to slip them into your coat/t-shirt's front pocket,  remembering to orient them lens inward!